January 14, 2015
There are many, many health related reasons why you should lose weight. Being overweight can increase your risk of cancer, heart disease and diabetes. It can affect your mood, your confidence and the ease at which you can tackle stairs. Like being a smoker or a boozer, we all know that being overweight is bad for us, but that doesn’t mean people want to do something about it, or even if they do, it can seem like a pretty daunting task.
The truth is that it is hard work, it’s very very hard work, but if you’ve got the willpower and you’re otherwise healthy then it’s easy, so long as you make the right lifestyle changes and stick to them.
Now all you need is a reason to do it, so if you won’t do it for the good of your health, then why not do it for one of these little victories…
Being an F-you fat-tivist
I remember a little while ago (pre weight loss), I was at a family party. I was sat at a table with my cousin, who was discussing with everyone the bridal shop she was opening. My cousin’s friend said to my cousin (in front of me, and keep in mind that I not only have ears, but that I was a part of the conversation): ‘you don’t want to stock dresses any bigger than a 14, so you keep the riffraff out’. I just sat there – clearly bigger than a 14 – feeling absolutely shite about myself. Like, hey, guess what, I hope you don’t ever want to get married, fatty – we don’t make dresses for your type. When a different cousin asked me to be a bridesmaid for her, it was that silly, insensitive cow’s ‘riffraff’ comment that temporarily turned my delight into dread. Except I’m not bigger than a size 14 now, I’m smaller, which apparently makes me no longer disreputable or undesirable. Before, negative comments about size used to make me wish I were dead. Now that I’m not that big anymore, remarks like that don’t wound me, they just piss me off. I have become this fat-tivist, who speaks up when she hears people saying what is, frankly, a very fucking stupid thing. Your worth as a person is in no way affected by your size, and a grown-ass woman should know better than to say things like that in front of young girls. That’s how eating disorders happen. That’s how depression and suicides happen. At the very least, that’s how you ruin a party for someone and leave them too petrified to eat their meal, lest everyone think the fatty is stuffing her face again. Smaller, more vocal me would love to bump into my cousin’s friend again…
Bumping into your former bullies
If you were overweight at school, chances are you were bullied, and if you’re a chubby teen reading this now, then you should know this: you win. These people will be horrible to you at school and you will suck at PE, but in the real world none of that will matter. You’re not shallow, and as such you will truly refine your dazzling personality, whereas they will start to struggle when they no longer have a PE teacher making them think that they are important. There was this one girl at school who was horrible to me every day – especially during PE. I was absolutely amazed to learn she hadn’t amounted to much as an adult, ’cause she was really fucking good at the high jump. Who knew that was a pointless skill that had absolutely no use in real life?! Bumping into these people now can feel amazing, not only because they’re actually much bigger than you now, but because you don’t care if they’re fat or thin – you’re not burdened with that prejudice that makes you blindly hate people – you care that their insides are rotten, and that’s why you don’t accept their friend requests on Facebook. Still, it can be tempting when you spot them in the supermarket – huffing and puffing as they struggle to push their trolly, as they try to make sure their kids behave – to march over and say: ‘who’d last longer doing a bleep test now, bitch?’ but you don’t. You don’t need to, because your happiness is in no way influenced by the suffering of those around you.
Before and after fun
You’re going to want to hang on to every item of clothing you’ve ever owned, here’s why… While it may be good to buy clothing in a smaller size, to use as incentive to slim down, that’s a risk. Your old fat clothes will always bring you joy though. If you’re having a bad day, thinking you don’t look amazing, or if you need reminding of just how well you’ve done, slip on a pair of your old fat pants and pose in front of your mirror like a Weightwatchers cardboard cutout after-photo. Marvel at how huge things are on you and wonder how you ever filled them. Put on your new clothes and dance around your room, celebrating how good you look (and burning a few calories – hey, it’s a lifestyle change that you have to keep up, not a quick fix). You can’t even begin to imagine how much fun it is to make before/after images – especially when you start meeting new people who only know smaller you, and they refuse to believe you used to be so big.
Shopping at ‘thin people’ shops
Many, many high street shops do not stock plus size clothing – which is typically anything larger than a 16. This means that, if you’re any bigger, you have to buy from special plus size retailers/ranges – you can’t just buy from the normal shops, oh strange, larger one. No no.
One of the greatest things about shrinking is being able to go into any shop you want and know that the clothes exist in your size. It’s such a simple thing, but to a plus-size, it’s just unimaginable. While it sucks that many stores don’t go higher than a 16, the likes of Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister Co. (whose largest option is a 14-16) go one further by having a stance on fat people. A&F chief executive, Mike Jeffries, is known for expressing his views on who should and shouldn’t shop there. He explained that they only market their clothes to cool, good-looking people, and that certain people don’t belong in A&F clothes, describing their brand as ‘exclusionary’ when quizzed about how they don’t cater for everyone. When fat me read this, I remember thinking: well, fine, Mr Jeffries. Even if I were thin, I wouldn’t wear your shitty, douchebag surfer clothing anyway. I’m not even a particular fan of the style, but you better believe I went into one of their stores and bought something in my size (which is not their biggest size) after I lost weight. I got home, put it on and thought: There. I am acceptable to Mike-fucking-Jeffries. And do you know what? It didn’t make one bit of difference to my life. All it did was make me look like a douchey surfer, in landlocked, miserable-weathered Leeds. It is nice to have shop-tions though.
You’ll get a brand new identifier
You’re not massive anymore, that means that if you were to commit a crime, eyewitnesses would no longer describe you as a fat person, they would have a different identifier for you, e.g ‘Frankie, you know, with the glasses and the boobs’ – which is how a friend described me recently. Similarly, you’re no longer too fat for outfits, so you get criticised for whole new reasons. Understandably, the smaller you get, the more skin you feel comfortable showing. This means that you start shunning your baggy, comfortable, sin-hiding clothes in favourite of short, low, tight and see-through stuff. People no longer have to worry about how to tell you that you look dumpy in that dress, instead they will tell you (with ease) that you’re dressing like a stripper. But why not? You’ve worked hard to look like this, the last thing you want to do is hide your body under baggy clothing. Be proud of your porno look, safe in the knowledge you’d no longer fall into a niche sub-genre.
You’ll find out who your friends are
I have a lot of time for anyone who was nice to fat-me. Similarly, anyone who was a dick to fat-me can kiss my (smaller) arse. It’s better to be a kind of ‘unattractive’ first, and then blossom from an ugly duckling into a swan, because you will fast find out who your real friends are and which guys are worth bothering with. Don’t have any time for anyone who treats thinner you better than larger you. Ok, so if you were to get bigger again, you could get smaller again, but all kinds of things can happen that will make a truly shallow person want nothing to do with you, should anything happen to make you no longer ‘attractive’. You don’t need to be in a horrible, disfiguring accident to be cast aside, ageing is one of those things that gets us all eventually. You don’t want to waste your time with shallow people, you need to surround yourself with good peeps, who will still love you even when your looks fade. If someone doesn’t like me, I want it to be because I poured gravy over them for referring to fat folk as ‘riffraff’ (my gosh, I wish I’d done that) and not because I don’t look ‘perfect’.
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