In a new relationship? How not to fuck it up this time

June 7, 2015

Breakups are horrible, you don’t need me to tell you that. They’re nothing like you see in the movies, where you eat a ton of ice cream, get a whole new look, go out partying with your girlies and then meet a dreamy new guy who solves all you problems.

Six reasons he’s not asking you out

June 2, 2015

Do you know what the only thing harder than getting a first date is? Getting a second date.

What men say vs. what they mean

June 2, 2015

Girls have a pretty bad rep for playing games and adhering to silly rules when it comes to the opposite sex. Things like how long you should wait before you reply to a message, how long you should wait before you answer the phone, how long you should wait before you sleep with a guy, etc. Girls essentially spend the early stages of a relationship waiting, which is stupid really because YOLO, bitches.

8 text messages you wish you could send

May 21, 2015

Ah, 3am – it’s good for a lot of things. It reminds me of an old Busted song that I loved. It’s a time when I’ll text absolutely anyone back out of boredom, whether it’s simply swapping emoji messages with the bestie, or half-heartedly sexting that guy I only hear from in the AM because what else am I going to do, sleep? But my absolute favourite thing to do at 3am is to replay in my mind every conversation I had the previous day, and stress over what I should have said. How I could’ve been clearer, funnier – or I’ll think of a real zinger that might not have won me an argument but, my god, it would’ve wiped the smirk off that bitch’s face.

How to Facebook (without everyone thinking you’re a twat) for girls

May 19, 2015

There are certain people on this earth I am somewhat blindly mistrustful of. Nickelback fans, for example. People who don’t have an iPhone, that’s another good one. The intentions of men I ‘meet’ on Tinder, although that’s more of a genuine distrust born of an awkward encounter (borderline assault!) at a Nando’s that we’d rather forget – but it’s not ‘Have a go at Tinder Day’, that’s tomorrow, so we’ll leave that one.

How to successfully interact with adult human males via your phone

May 9, 2015

Men, right?! Can’t live with ’em, can’t open jars without ’em. This means that we have to interact with them, and not only talk to them, but try and get them to talk back to us.

The ten woes of single girls in their twenties and thirties

April 27, 2015

If you’re a teen, they leave you alone because you’re too young. If you’re over forty, the leave you alone because clearly you’ve made some kind of decision to remain single forever and ever – or else you’d be married by now, right? But, if you’re in your twenties or your thirties and you *gasp* don’t have a man, then you’re going to want to grab a big, brown umbrella for the downpour of single-shaming shit coming your way.

Four guys I want you to dump – right now!

April 27, 2015

It’s all well and good me sitting here, telling you how to take flattering photos of your genitals, how to therapeutically deface your ex’s things and how to achieve a ‘thigh gap’ in seconds (just open your legs a bit more and eat some effin’ chocolate, babe), but the truth is that I care about you.

Ten guys you should stop texting back – right now!

April 4, 2015

I realised something recently: I need to seriously reconsider the mobile company I keep.

Sixteen reasons I sometimes wish I were a boy

March 28, 2015

‘What’s the score?’ I asked, sitting down amongst the menfolk who were all totally captivated by the beautiful game. Captivated, that is, until a girl asked them a question. ‘Why?’ one of them asked, confused by my inquiry. By watching football rather than complaining and insisting we turn it off, I was confusing the men. I loved football when I was younger – in fact, I was quite good at it – but as I grew into this sparkly, girly, forever-Halloween, skanky Barbie, my priorities changed. It’s not a big deal. ‘Go on then, what’s offside?’ he persisted – like a firm grasp of football is exclusively reliant on an understanding of the offside rule. He didn’t expect me to know, but I did (come on, it’s not rocket science) and suddenly, the menfolk were in awe – a vagina-person who knows what offside is? That’s adorable.

Page 2 of 712345...Last »