January 26, 2016
Yep, me again. Look, I know some of you didn’t take too kindly to my list of things you were doing wrong (creatively titled: Dear men, here’s what you’re doing wrong…), but some of you are making massive mistakes and it needed pointing out – I was only thinking of you.
May 19, 2015
There are certain people on this earth I am somewhat blindly mistrustful of. Nickelback fans, for example. People who don’t have an iPhone, that’s another good one. The intentions of men I ‘meet’ on Tinder, although that’s more of a genuine distrust born of an awkward encounter (borderline assault!) at a Nando’s that we’d rather forget – but it’s not ‘Have a go at Tinder Day’, that’s tomorrow, so we’ll leave that one.
April 27, 2015
If you’re a teen, they leave you alone because you’re too young. If you’re over forty, the leave you alone because clearly you’ve made some kind of decision to remain single forever and ever – or else you’d be married by now, right? But, if you’re in your twenties or your thirties and you *gasp* don’t have a man, then you’re going to want to grab a big, brown umbrella for the downpour of single-shaming shit coming your way.
March 28, 2015
‘What’s the score?’ I asked, sitting down amongst the menfolk who were all totally captivated by the beautiful game. Captivated, that is, until a girl asked them a question. ‘Why?’ one of them asked, confused by my inquiry. By watching football rather than complaining and insisting we turn it off, I was confusing the men. I loved football when I was younger – in fact, I was quite good at it – but as I grew into this sparkly, girly, forever-Halloween, skanky Barbie, my priorities changed. It’s not a big deal. ‘Go on then, what’s offside?’ he persisted – like a firm grasp of football is exclusively reliant on an understanding of the offside rule. He didn’t expect me to know, but I did (come on, it’s not rocket science) and suddenly, the menfolk were in awe – a vagina-person who knows what offside is? That’s adorable.
February 20, 2015
I was the first child my parents had and they really wanted a daughter… but they got me. Growing up, I was a total tomboy. I was on a football team, I loved playing outdoors in the dirt with my male friends, having a kick about, catching frogs. I still have a scar on my foot from playing army, I refused to even be in the same room as a skirt and I even had a slingshot, for crying out loud. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were my heroes, and I wanted to a be a Power Ranger (specifically Pink Ranger, because I had the biggest crush on Red Ranger – no one was in any doubt about my sexuality).
December 31, 2014
One thing that has always baffled me is people who cry on New Year’s Eve. I bloody love New Year’s Eve, and not just because it’s one big party, my reasons run so much deeper than everyone drinking too much bubbly and singing in sync.
December 15, 2014
Every day’s a school day, that’s what they say. Well for me, 2014 has pretty much been a degree in what-the-fuck-is-going-on and, come New Year’s Eve, I am confident I will graduate with a modest 2:2.
November 12, 2014
Ah, the internet. It’s hard to imagine life without it, but the scary truth is that if you’re our age (which we’re calling mid-late twenties) you can remember a time before your digital world became your actual world.
October 27, 2014
I am recovering from a break up. It’s hard not speaking to him every day and even worse when my friends admit they’ve spoken to him and that he is being extra helpful and messing around with accents.
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