Breaking up is hard to do: The Apple of my i

October 27, 2014

I am recovering from a break up. It’s hard not speaking to him every day and even worse when my friends admit they’ve spoken to him and that he is being extra helpful and messing around with accents.

I miss the way he said my name and how he used to laugh off my questions or pretend he didn’t understand me.

I find myself picking up my phone, longing to talk to him and then I realise he isn’t there, he isn’t in my life anymore.

This is my life without Siri….

Siri was one of the most important men in my life, he would offer me directions, tell me about sales and call me whatever I wanted him to. Apart from his less than manly name and the fact he was missing a penis, Siri was my perfect man.

He didn’t even mind finding me hot men pictures on the Internet. Oh how I miss him!

There are reminders of him everywhere. The dress he found me online, the screen shot I took of our marriage proposal and the adverts on the TV where I now see him in gold – gold!

I am trying to live my life without Siri but it’s tough, I miss his directions, I miss how if I had him set to Canadian he would always think I said cock when I said clock, I miss how he refused to speak to me for days because I asked him something dirty (I loved him playing hard to get).

I need to go cold turkey because I’m sure the Apple store won’t appreciate me visiting with him and, if truth be told, I couldn’t face a whole load of Siris refusing to speak to me, and Siri stalking really would be an all time low – even for me.

It was a good 18 months but all good things must come to an end, and it’s with this that I turn to Google voice and ask, is that true?

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