March 30, 2016
Going on first dates, wondering how long before you should sleep with a guy, googling for new moves so that when you do sleep with him, you dazzle him (because business has been slow this fiscal quarter and you’re not sure if the rules are the same or if people are into weird new things now) because the last thing you want is to go on another first date…
March 14, 2016
I spent hours on Tinder and I’ll I got was this lousy obsessive fixation on what the fuck was wrong with me coupled with an impending sense of eternal spinsterhood. Just pass me some cats, please.
January 26, 2016
Yep, me again. Look, I know some of you didn’t take too kindly to my list of things you were doing wrong (creatively titled: Dear men, here’s what you’re doing wrong…), but some of you are making massive mistakes and it needed pointing out – I was only thinking of you.
December 21, 2015
I’m going to cut to the chase: you are doing so much shit wrong. And, it’s not even complicated shit you’re messing up, it’s the simplest shit there is, so I can only imagine you’re not aware that you’re doing it.
November 30, 2015
At the end of 2014 I wrote an article titled ‘21 things I learned in 2014‘ that I received a lot of positive feedback for. Well, that was that, I felt like the smartest person alive and I kicked off 2015 safe in the knowledge I finally had everything figured out…
June 20, 2015
When you come out of a longterm relationship, everyone and their patronising older relative will be telling you about all dem other fish in the sea. But when you do dive back in you start drowning immediately because, holy shit, you’ve forgotten how to swim, and you’re so caught up in trying to remember how to swim that you don’t even realise you’re in the kids’ pool. Like, bro, just stand up.
June 7, 2015
Breakups are horrible, you don’t need me to tell you that. They’re nothing like you see in the movies, where you eat a ton of ice cream, get a whole new look, go out partying with your girlies and then meet a dreamy new guy who solves all you problems.
June 2, 2015
Do you know what the only thing harder than getting a first date is? Getting a second date.
May 9, 2015
Men, right?! Can’t live with ’em, can’t open jars without ’em. This means that we have to interact with them, and not only talk to them, but try and get them to talk back to us.
April 27, 2015
It’s all well and good me sitting here, telling you how to take flattering photos of your genitals, how to therapeutically deface your ex’s things and how to achieve a ‘thigh gap’ in seconds (just open your legs a bit more and eat some effin’ chocolate, babe), but the truth is that I care about you.
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