5 absolutely ridiculous beauty tips (that actually work)

September 25, 2014

What you are about to read is a list of beauty tips that will sound absolutely ridiculous – and you’ll look even sillier while you’re trying them – but I promise you, they work.

The internet is full of weird and wonderful advice on how to look good – some of the weirder ones involved dousing yourself in your own urine and “sperm facials” (stop sniggering). Although my tried and tested tips will make you look daft and feel stupid for a few seconds, afterwards you’ll look and feel beautiful all day – without having to resort to bodily fluids.

Slap yourself silly

Slap yourself in the face, I’m serious. Well, it’s not so much that you slap yourself, it’s more like vigorously tapping. As part of your daily moisturising routine, roughly apply your moisturising all over your face and then, instead of rubbing it in, take a minute to tap the cream into your skin. Supposedly this prevents sagging associated with rubbing your skin. What it definitely does is help your skin absorb the moisturiser and gives you a lovely glow that lasts all day long.

Use a spoon

A spoon might seem like a ridiculous item to keep in your makeup bag, but trust me, it’s a necessity. Think of it as a sort of beauty Swiss army knife. Run it under the cold tap to get it nice and cold before holding it over your eyes (one at a time, unless you want to carry two spoons around with you) to get rid of bags. You can also use your spoon to help your makeup. Use the straight edge as a ruler to create the perfect eyeliner flicks. Use your spoon while applying mascara to avoid getting any on your eyelids by placing it between the lashes and the skin as you sweep it on. You can also use your spoon to curl your eyelashes, just give it a quick blast with your hairdryer to get it nice and warm before shaping your lashes against the curves.

Grab a coffee

Venti caramel macchiatos with an extra shot might not be the greatest things for keeping your butt looking sexy, but the coffee grounds will come in useful in the battle against cellulite. Keep your skin looking smooth by using coffee grounds as a body scrub and the caffeine will draw out water, plumping up your skin. It can also help to reduce the number of fat cells. Simply mix coffee grounds with olive oil, rub into your skin with circular motions before rinsing away. Being Italian, olive oil is something that’s always knocking around, and I found it really bizarre when a family member told me to rub it on my face during the winter months to keep it hydrated, but I tried it and it worked. It’s also great to use on sunburn (it moisturises the skin and reduces peeling) and you can also massage a little into your hair before you wash it for a deep conditioning treatment. Sugar might not be great for you, but it’s good for your lips. Mix a little with some Vaseline for a lip scrub that will leave you with a super-soft, super-kissable pout.

Tape helps in a sticky situation

A roll of Sellotape in your makeup bag is another item that’s going to look massively out of place, but it can come in very handy. No, I’m not proposing makeshift facelifts, but if you wear a lot of glittery eye makeup, then tape is just what you need to remove it. Wipes and makeup removers often just smear heavy, glittery eye makeup all over you face, leaving you looking like a disco ball. Simply use the tape to lift off as much of the glitter as possible before proceeding as usual.

Get on board with baby stuff

It’s one thing to pinch a teaspoon from the cutlery drawer and claim it as your own, it’s a whole other story when you’re strolling around Mothercare, piling your trolly high with baby products. If you have young kids then you’re fine because you’ll have most of this stuff already, but if you don’t then prepare to either become a very elaborate liar or own up to people about the lengths your willing to go to in the name of beauty. Talc is a must-have – not only can it be used on your roots if your hair is looking crap and you don’t have time to wash it, but it can also be used to thicken your eyelashes. Simply apply mascara before dabbing the powder on your damp lashes, then apply more mascara – repeat as necessary. Another product you should keep handy is baby oil. You can pour a little in your bath for super-soft skin, rub it all over your body after a shower, or, to give your legs a nice shine you can mix a little in with your usual moisturiser. So far, not so strange, until… nappy rash cream. Yes, the other items are not so bad, but nappy rash cream is nappy rash cream, so you’re either going to need to borrow a child while you shop, be honest about your vanity or let people jump the the obvious conclusion about why you need it. It’s worth a little embarrassment though, because it turns out it is a brilliant cure for hard skin – particularly the kind you get on your feet and elbows. Nappy rash creams usually have anti-inflammatory/anti-fungal properties, which also means you can dab a little on angry looking spots to help get rid of them faster.

About Frankie Genchi

Full-time writer, reformed groupie, geek chic gamer and Henry Cavill enthusiast. Showbiz: www.fleckingrecords.co.uk | Girly: www.girlpanion.co.uk